It was about this time that my sister walked into the cabin. In these cabins there were two bunk beds, so four beds. I was sitting by myself and the other two on their own bunks up top, so Kelly, lets call my sis Kelly, took up the last vacant bed.
We tried to keep talking about John, but Kelly soon became distant, frustrated and very angry. She had previously claimed that John had pushed her down the stairs at home, and had hit her. Now, I love my sister, and I'm obviously not the biggest fan of my ex, however, I can't back up Kelly because there's no proof. I have been there for his verbal abuse as he called her a fat cow, and other not so nice things, so I can confirm that, but I have little to say about physical abuse she claims happened. I'm not saying it never happened either, but I don't remember ever leaving them alone so I can't pick a side on that matter either way.
She promptly left upset and the other two girls looked almost as frustrated as Kelly was. They told me to break up with John, and that's all can really remember about that time in the cabin.
After that, I remember crying in my own cabin, alone, and texting John that I couldn't be with him anymore because my coworkers said so... It was a coward's thing to do; break up with him while he was training for cadets in Quebec while I was in Alberta hours away, and initially blaming the break up on others, but I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to admit that I was as broken as I felt; that I was so hurt and crushed and how sad that I was. I was sad, depressed and I let my pride blind me. I had convinced myself for too long that everything was the way it was supposed to be and that being with John was what I had wanted and deserved... I wasn't ready to admit I had a problem and that I needed help.
Because our hours were different it wasn't until the next morning that I received a distressed message, asking in pure despair, why. How I could, so suddenly, abandon my post as a slave, a girlfriend, as a... I don't even know what I want to admit I was... I told him that my coworkers were right and that the relationship wasn't working out.
It must've been only a day or two later that every councilor in the camp knew that I had just broken up with my boyfriend. Now, it's at this point I wish I could say that someone hugged me or asked if I was okay, but the trend continued where everyone just perused their own ideas, forcing their ideas among each other and ignoring my agony.
As I had previously said, I had been quite flustered by Angel's attitude toward me, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by the other staff. So, when the word went around, most likely spread by my sister and her friends, that I was single, everyone started to avoid me and Angel. Every single time I walked into the councilors lounge, they would all leave if he was there, saying things like, "We should leave you two alone to talk." and other stupid excuses like that.
I am currently with Angel and this all happened 3 years ago now since it's 2016. But since I ended up with Angel, many of those staff members proudly told me how it was their idea to set us up and that's still SO frustrating. If any of them had just stopped and thought for one freaking second that maybe I was HURT because I'd just broken up, that maybe I could've had at least one other person to hold me and tell me that it was all going to be okay. If any of them had actually thought it through instead of putting it all on Angel, then maybe it would've been easier for me to heal, and for him to understand. Instead everyone forced us to be alone so all we had was each other, and I don't thank any of them for that. I didn't need a boyfriend! I needed a mum, a dad, a hug-a freaking friend! They were more interested in starting a camp relationship than starting up my heart again.
But I guess in the end I was just stuck with him to talk to about everything because I did need to talk. I honestly can never pay back how understanding, honest, open, and helpful he was to me when I was finally so distraught by everything that I just poured my soul to him. And I know that if he had rejected me I wouldn't be here today; if, after everything, I had told him what I did and he denied me I'd be dead. He was my last hope, my last chance and he saved me, that's why he's my Angel. I know that might seem a bit extreme, but given what my current situation was, I'm not surprised if I had acted that way. I was done with being insignificant.
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